"This is a test... it's only a test..."

So Manda and Mama are both in-healing vs. in-training. Sad, but true.

Mama still don't know just what is up with Crankly, which is frustrating - but what she do know is that it hurts and it ought not be out runnin' right now. The rest of her is grieving this loss.... just look at these beautiful autumn days beckoning a runner to run.... sigh. She vows, though, to end the facebook whine-fest and focus on what's next....

Yeah, Mama trusts a grander plan is unfolding and resistance is futile. This is a test - it is only a test....

Healing is the next right step for now - we will do our best to be gracious and pursue healing endeavors with the same hutzpah we pursued training routines. And we just might toss some surprising out-of-the-box creative alternatives in the mix, when we're ready....

Meanwhile, we will definitely continue fundraising for leukemia. And blogging.

Stay tuned..... <3

Cranky Ankley

Voice of America park

Well, the mysterious ankle ailment persists. I felt something in my left inner ankle bone on Monday night but really didn't give it much thought or attention - it just kind of itch-ached, if you know what I mean. Felt like something that would just go away.
No time to run on Tuesday morning, as it was COPS Swat Demo Day. I decide to just do my Tuesday 6 miler on Wednesday. So, I'm at this Demo thing, standing there watching guys shoot bullets at a clay dummy wearing a ballistic vest and I become aware that my ankle is swelling. And the longer we stand there, the more it puffs up. And yeah, it hurts, too.

I make an icepack, sit down, put my foot up. Others join me and we make random guesses as to the cause.... a sting, maybe? bug bite? did I twist or strain it somewhere along the line? I certainly don't recall an incident in which something "happened" to it.... weird.

My medically intuitive (and doctor-avoidant) hubby tells me he wants me to see the doctor and gets me an appointment. Not at all sure that's necessary, but I trust his sense of body-related stuff, so I go.

Dr. Webb wiggles and pokes and has me push this way and that against his hand. Range of motion seems good. Doesn't look like a bug bite. Prescribes naproxin, tells me to ice and support it and run as seems wise.

Doesn't seem wise to run Wednesday, so I stretch and do pilates. Take my naproxin, ice and elevate (and whine - waaaaah - frowny face on crankly ankley).

Thursday morning I put a brace on it and go to Voice of America park intending to run my 6 miler. Get through the 1st 1.3, wondering the whole time if I'm being stupid to run on it - could I be doing more damage? Or.... am I being a big wuss? It doesn't really hurt to run -- it just aches and swells when I stop. I decide to run round the little lake again - it's the most ideal day to run, beautiful in every way and I feel great except for poopy ankle. I stop after going round the second time to go pee. When I walk, the pain intensifies and I feel it swelling in my shoe. Harumph. 2.6 is all for me today. Drive home, ankle throbbing, hoping I'm not going to wind up Amanda's boot twin.

Got a quick appointment with the podiatrist for 10:30 am. Dr. Sisney is a friend of my sis-in-law and she's a triathlete, so has a clue about running injuries. She pokes, wiggles, queries and sends me for x-rays. Hmmm... x-ray does show lots of stress lines, but nothing else. 

This reminds me.... (funny thing, the memory) that once upon a time, I broke this ankle - back in the summer between my junior and senior year of high school. I hit a curb catching a frisbee, spent the better part of that summer on crutches, in a cast. Yes, Dr. Sisney says, that would explain the stress lines. Still, she really offers no clear explanation for the pain or swelling, just treats me - prescribes 5 day prednisone pack, gives me a compression sock-thingy, and tells me she doesn't see any reason not to run - although it might be wise to trade out this weekend's 18 mile endurance run for next weekend's 10 miles. (Her office is full of marathon, half-marathon and triathlon posters - got the distinct impression she's pretty hardwired to train and complete events. I like that - but I'd feel better if I knew what the heck is going on).

So I start the steroids, stretch and get fitted for shoes that suit my feet on Friday. The shoe-fitter dude notes that the wear on my previous shoes indicates that I've been running on the outside edge of my foot. Apparently, I need more neutral (less stabilized) shoes. He set me up in a pair of Adidas Gliders. They're kind of ugly, I think, but as he said, my feet don't know or care what they look like. I hope they have ankle healing magical powers.

I need to spend a few hours just wearing them around the house to break 'em in and get my feet used to being in them before doing the endurance run, so that's what I've been doing this morning. Wearing them while hunting for my i-pod shuffle, which is mysteriously M.I.A. I've cleaned out lots of drawers, purses, countertops and car compartments in my quest, but have not found it. (Aaaargh!) ...Wearing them while searching runner's ankle injuries online, trying to self-diagnose via web md since the live md route has been less than satisfactory.

Medical intuitive hubby comes up with idea of a bone spur (which I had actually thought of, too - since I've had one in my shoulder before - and come to think of it, the pain is much the same)..... From the little I've been able to find online, everything fits. Of course I still don't know for sure.... and if that is the case, I don't know what it means for marathon training.... and even though I'm pretty sick of obsessing about this when I know I am blessed and everything is as it should be and there are so many people with much more complex, confronting issues....
All morning, I've been afflicted with flip-flop indecision regarding running today.... should I? If I do, should I go for 18? or 10? or maybe the 6 I never finished this week? Or.... maybe I should rest it today and set my sights on tomorrow? And what in the heck happened to my shuffle?!?!!!

How many miles has Mama run?

My endurance run on "the-most-perfect-running-morning-ever" (Saturday) was 10 miles. I ran around beautiful Glendale, rockin' out and loving just about every sweaty minute of it.

Sunday is a day of rest and that's what I did (or at least I didn't go running).

For some reason, last night, I didn't want to go to bed even though I knew I had to wake up early to get boys to school and get my run in. And, you know, one of the perks of being a full-fledged grown up is you get to stay up as late as you want.... but, you also have to get up and be responsible Mama, no matter how bleary-eyed and grumpy you may be.

After I dropped Jon at MHS, I was sooooo tempted to just go home. But I drove my cranky butt to Sharon Woods, stretched beside the slimy green creek, put my headphones in and started to run. It hurt and I wanted to quit. Sometimes you just don't wanna.

Luckily, I've felt this way before (ha), and have become skilled at talking myself through it. "It's not far, Robin, just five. Think how good you'll feel when you get back to this very place in the parking lot and you did it. Focus on that." AND.... I thought about Liz and Joel and all the other cancer patients and families and all the times they have had to get up in the wee hours to travel to a clinic to be poked and prodded and ingested with stuff that makes them feel a catrillion times worse than this whiny-wuss, "I-stayed-up-too-late" yada yada pity party.... and I ran.

And when I finished, I felt fantastic. Bright-eyed and in-love with the crunchy Autumn morning - with the people and their dogs, with the toddlers on the playground and the rest of the day waiting...

I came home and, with a happy sigh, crossed another day of training off the schedule. I did the math and -can you believe? - when I finish tomorrow's 6-miler, Mama will have officially run 200 miles!;-) Go Me.

Fighting for the Cure video

Oh and, btw, I ran 16 miles ;-)

Stre-e-e-e-e-etching

 

 

 

Life is so full of so many worthwhile things, truly - so full, in fact, that even though I've been DOing a lot and writing in my mind a lot, I just haven't gotten to the screen to document the way I want to. I write this blog all day long in my head, but sitting down to capture the plethora of thoughts, images, ideas, inspirations... well, you know, I have 5 kids and a training schedule and I gotta stretch, and do laundry and dishes and feed the dog.
Anyway, my endurance run this past Saturday - 4x4 (aka 16 miles) went better than I anticipated. I got up early, made myself a yummy egg salad sandwich, gathered all my training paraphenalia and was on the trail just as the clock tower was chiming 8 am. It was cloudy, cool, and not crowded. Classic rock seemed to be the best motivator and I had Cliff ROKS, Gatorade and my saving grace, Jolly Ranchers - rewarded myself with one at the end of each 4 mile stretch and sucked on the fourth one that final mile - green apple (and Muse "Victorious") - totally  got me through.
Averaged just under 10 minute miles consistently. Am thinking maybe that's why I felt better than I have on previous endurance runs - I push it harder when I'm with Manda.... anyway, I'm fine with 10 minute mile average. Shit, I'm an old lady - that's pretty good! I didn't stop to walk. I didn't stress and fret. I just did my run, 4x4, beginning to end and when I was done, it felt good.
Manda was going to come see me finish, but she got lost and went to Wilmington instead (not my faulty directions this time! ha!) - so, when I finished (expecting to see her but not), I was tempted to say to some grandparents and their adorable kiddos in the parking lot who just happened to be getting out of the car next to mine "Hey - guess what? I DID IT! I just ran 16 miles! High 5!" ...but I didn't. I wonder what they would have done if I had?

LaLaPaLooza Land

 

So last Thursday, Amanda, her boot and I started spreading the word about LaLaPaLooza Benefit Concert for Leukemia, right here in our village of Glendale. LaLaPaLooza for Leukemia will take place September 18, 2010 on the Village Green just off Sharon Road near the railroad tracks in our sacred little town. We have five different musical acts that will take turns playing between 6:00 - 11:00 pm. I count myself blessed to know all of these wonderful musicians and call them friends. Musicians to perform include: 

Amy Lord Flury & The Sins 

Serenity Fisher

WALK THE MOON    

Amanda Matson

Restless Day

Amanda will be playing her original country songs in-between acts and will have help MC-ing the event from her friends, Joel Brown and Liz Lothrop. Joel and Liz are sophomores at Mason High School and have both spent the past two years fighting Leukemia. We have followed their journeys from first diagnosis until now and are in awe of their strength and courage, and the profound and inspiring stories they have experienced with their families along the way. We will include more pics, videos, links and words documenting their stories on the "Our Heroes" page of this blog.

Liz, Joel and Amanda at MHS Homecoming game 2009

The LaLaPaLooza for Leukemia is about raising awareness, funds and community that lead to hope and healing. Besides great music and awesome MC's, there will also be a Silent Auction, Split the Pot, A LiveinLove ART Booth, BEER, friends, laughs and fun! Manda and Mama hope to see you there! 

If you would like to donate items or services to the Silent Auction or are interested in volunteering in LaLaPaLooza Land, let me know! Watch for updates about LaLaPaLooza Benefit Concert for Leukemia on LaLaPaLooza Land page of this blog. ;-)

Dear Amanda - 117.5

Dear Amanda~
I am so sad and sorry that we will not be continuing this journey the way we planned. I miss you and your courage and tenacity in this training. And I hate that the experience we planned on has been taken from you - I wanted this for you - for us.
Still.... I am so proud of you - and us - for forging ahead. Do you know that to the point we were told you must wear that dang boot, we ran 117.5 miles? - for real! Think about that! How cool is that?

And even though I needed time and space to be certain, I think we both knew straighaway that the event was on, no matter how it must transpire. I love that we both gravitated to the same place in the same time.
I am continuing the training - and I am counting on you - on us - to keep me strong, to see me through, and to generate the momentum in our fundraising to make a real difference for Fred's Team - and for Leukemia.
I need you now more than ever and I respect and appreciate you beyond what I can put into words -for championing our event and our vision more than your participation. I wish I could turn it around and be the injured one cheering you on instead. I absolutely would, if I could. But that's not in my power. What I can do is keep running, keep training, keep believing, keep posting and keep creating.... You're not giving up... and neither will I.
I Love You so much,
Mama

That Darn Lisfranc Ligament

Today, Amanda and I went to the podiatrist (foot dr). Her right foot started hurting three and a half weeks ago at the end of our 12 mile endurance run. Since then, I have been constantly inquiring, "How's your foot?" with varied responses, but typically, "It hurt a little bit, but then it feels better; I think it's fine." Until this morning, when she texted me saying it hurt to walk on it.

So, at 2:30 this afternoon, we went to see Dr. Todd Adams at Podiatry Associates of Cincinnati. Her foot was swollen and he said so, then pressed it in various places, "Does this hurt?... How about this?" and then sent her for x-rays. My bet was on a stress fracture....

Within five minutes, he and pictures of her foot-skeleton appeared and we were told it is NOT a stress fracture.... No, she has a "Lisfranc Joint Sprain" - which means she damaged the tarsometatarsal joint ligament somehow - the ligament that connects the toes where they meet her foot.

"You're going to have to wear a boot," he said.... "for eight weeks."

WHAT?!

Amanda and I looked at each other with equal parts sadness and horror... as we watched him explain the ligament location on a fake foot skeleton... as we listened to the potential surgical pin fate that awaits her if she does not wear her boot, refrain from exercise (other than swimming and cycling) and allow the ligament to regenerate itself.

If her young body heals quickly, then she MAY be able to lose the boot after a month....or 5 weeks...0r 6 weeks.... But she needs to prep for worst case, which is two full months of boot-foot. My poor baby. She's devastated. 

So, Amanda will NOT be running the Chicago Marathon this time round.
We are committed to continue fundraising for leukemia no matter what.
The only question is Mama's participation...
Do I keep training and run it as planned?
Do we halt altogether and focus on next year?
Do we hope for the best and leave the option open that Amanda MAY be able to walk it?

Please add your voice to the poll -- what do you think Manda & Mama should do now?

Jolly Rancher Kisses - 14 miles

So, every weekend we have an endurance run. According to our training schedule, they alternate in length, so that two weeks ago, we did 12 miles, then the next weekend, 7 miles, and this past weekend we upped it to 14.
It was an ideal morning for running with bright clear skies, zero humidity, and even a gentle breeze. We followed online dietary instructions and fueled our bodies with a "breakfast of champions" - 2 eggs, 2 pieces of toast, orange juice, water, and a banana (actually, it also said to eat raisin bran with milk - but we couldn't deal with that much food!)

Then, we headed out to the Loveland Trail - nice, flat, spacious, shady trails that are well-marked to track progress (this is especially comforting for Miss Amanda as she likes ongoing input regarding distance and time). Thankfully, this time out neither of us were dealing with nasty cramps or other injuries - although Amanda did get another annoying cramp in the arch of her foot during our second round of 3.5 miles (so maybe 5 miles in).

I introduced Amanda to a Secret Trick of Endurance Running that I learned from a kind stranger round about mile 22 of the Flying Pig marathon (my 1st ever) in 2002. Just when I thought I couldn't keep going, she kept stride with me just long enough to gift me with 3 Jolly Ranchers. I tell you what - those sour hard candies saved me. Instead of focusing on the pain in my thighs or the blisters rubbing my feet, I became immersed in the taste explosion happening in my mouth - and it was good. ;-) So, on our way to the 14-miler, I stopped at Thornton's and added a large bag of Jolly Ranchers to our running supply arsenal. (Note: Green Apple is my fave; Amanda's is Watermelon - this is also good ;-)).

Amanda kept track of actual running time (so not including time we stop to stretch, consume water, take pics, unwrap Ranchers, etc) and reports that she finished the 14 miles in 2 hours and 6 minutes (so I guess ancient, slow madre-woman finished in approx. 2 hours and 7 minutes). Yes, I seem to have a chronic final-mile issue, regardless of the distance - if it's 12 miles, I'm hurting and giving myself permission to walk a bit between 11-12; if it's 6, I struggle mentally between 5-6; so, on this run, I stopped to walk at 13.25 (and wow, the walking felt good - but watching Amanda run on ahead didn't!).... so, I put a question out there to my i-pod shuffle - not sure what song was playing as I walked, but I told myself that I'd let the next song dictate whether or not I would pull it out and run to our finish at mile marker 42 (or not). And what song comes on? "Life in the Fast Lane" by the Eagles - Ha ha ha! No arguing with that one... I picked up my pace and happily ran to the end, really - to be fair - only about 1/2 a minute behind the super-trooper Amanda ;-)

From the inside out

A big huge HUG of Gratitude to my wonderful artist pal and our latest hero, Pattie Mosca!
I met Patti five years ago at The Artella Retreat - a kindred spirit with a generous soul and a prolific creator of whimsical, spiritual, affirming mandalas. Check out her blog, From the Inside Out, and be blown away by her creative energy and inspiring affirmations. Pattie created the Laugh & Dream logo for me several years ago - isn't it beautiful?
Pattie's beloved husband has been living life with cancer and they are an inspiration to so many with the beautiful, powerful way they LIVE life to the fullest, while battling this disease one day at a time. Thank you and blessings as your journey continues. <3

I wake this morning from a curious DREAM to find my 1st message of the day is from Fred's Team: "A New Donation"! Yay! I LAUGH with glee! This is such excellent news, as we have raised very little of our pledge thus far.... and I (detail lackey that I am) did not realize until mid-afternoon yesterday that we are to turn in the full amount two weeks BEFORE the marathon, which is September 24. Aaargh. I had been counting on a fundraising event in early October. So... I'm revising the plan....  Stay tuned for info about some really cool, groovy, awesome and amazing fundraising opportunities coming your way soon. Meanwhile, all donations that come into mine and Amanda's Fred's Team Pages at this point (for ANY amount) feel like gifts of love dropped from heaven above.... not only for Amanda and I on our training journey, but for those who are suffering and will benefit from having funding to seek cures and provide treatment.

Donate to Robin Link
Donate to Amanda Link

One step, one donor at a time

This training is all about coming together to raise up those in need of healing and support. It's all about connecting for a purpose, believing in healing and personal power to transform. It's about giving and receiving, asking, allowing, trusting and .... well, running the distance. Some of us are doing it by pounding shoes on pavement and stretching our calves every hour; others are doing it with needles in their arms and chemo in their bloodstream; yet others by staying up all night, stroking hair and speaking words of calm - all of us do it one step at a time.
And when it comes to raising money, we do it one donor and one dollar at a time - and for each and every step, for each and every dollar, we give thanks.
 We want everyone to know the wonderful people making a difference on this journey, so you will  be recognized in the Our Heroes List in the sidebar of this blog.
We give extra special thanks and gratitude to....
Our 1st donor: Maarten & Shannon Foubert (and Alexander, Jonas & baby ??, too)

Thank you, Jonas & Alexander & your parents, too!

If you want to donate and be one of our Heroes, you can do that here:
Donate to Robin



Meanwhile, we run. 6 miles yesterday. A welcome rest today (thankful for that, since it is 101 degrees outside!)... prepping this week for the 14 mile endurance run this weekend....
  

Monday morning blossoms

Nature is full of miracles. At night, when it is dark, the lotus flower sinks underwater into the mud. With light, it rises up through the murk and mire, into the sunshine, where it rapidly bursts into bloom, then sheds its petals.... such a metaphor for growth and surrender - the dank, muddy nights paving the way toward big, bold beauty, unfurling within the warm, adoring spotlight of sunshine.

This Monday morning found me running along the trails of Glenwood Gardens, nestled between Glendale and Woodlawn, following the signs to the "Lotus Pond" in full bloom. Although it was slightly cumbersome, I ran the 1st 2 miles with my camera on my wrist, so I might capture the morning wonder.

I like to mix it up - I'm in training for the marathon, yes.... but in the grander scheme, I'm in training for eternity - and nature offers profound lessons, when we seek - and honor - them.

Training Necessities

Many days, Amanda and I train individually -- on those days, my passenger seat is filled with the bare necessities of a marathon runner in training.... at least two bottles of ICE COLD water, the ipod shuffle (charged), a banana.... (possibly a CLIFF Bar, depending on length of the run... my journal (just in case), credit card and cash (just in case), my kubotan (just in case), and a face towel and beach towel to mop up post-run sweat.....
I have forgotten at least one of these things much of the time.... but I'm getting better about pre-training run prep when I run in the park. (I figured if I wrote it all down here, it would extra solidify in my brain).
Today, I had it all.... a lovely 7 miler round Glenwood Gardens -- stay tuned for photos of the lotus pond in full bloom - stunning!

Meet Sandy Sidekick :-0

Running has its place, and I did my 6 miles (I think, in some hallucinogenic beach scenario)... and went on about my day.... which involved hooking up with my trusty new fund raising sidekick, Sandy, at an especially orange Panera... we plotted, planned & schemed... be ready. ;-) And I love you, Sidekick Sandy.... thank you for the gift of your gifts.... more to come...

Got in 4.5 Miles yesterday at Sharon Woods. Had to fight through the crazy heat and some pretty bad cramps, but having the iPod in and the goal of the marathon in mind I got it done. And then got back in the air conditioning...

Compromising with Hope

There's a comforting rhythm and ritual evolving in this training process. Following a day of rest (which just so happened to be the coolest, least humid, most perfect running-weather day we've had since we began - hmph), I wake to early light knowing today is easy to moderate 4.5 miler. Hope dog follows me into the walk-in closet with her question-mark eyes - "Which drawer will she open? Are those running clothes? Are you taking me with you this time?" - her eyes ask... no, plead. As I reach for my shoes, my voice assures her that today she gets to come along, too. Her tail laughs happily as she eagerly watches me stretch. Stretching is becoming a truly spiritual practice - I swear I hear the angels sing as those muscles and tendons ease - I am thankful for the miracle that is a functioning body.
Short purple leash - the running leash- clicks, front door opens, and out we go into the fresh, sacred morning. Hope is hopeless, I'm afraid, when it comes to a training run - she pulls and stops, sniffs and yanks in spurts and fits and bolts like a frightened bunny along the entire street where the train goes by (whether the train is chug-whistling down the tracks or not). Yes, she's a bit of a freak on the leash, but she just loves it - it is the highlight of her doggy days. So.... on these easy/moderate training days, the ritual has become for her to join me round our block, putting in the 1st 1.5 miles. Then, I drop her off, feed her ice cubes, guzzle water, stretch a bit more and head back out for the remaining mileage, which today was 3 - and, after the random tug-o-war run from which I just returned, this self-directed, smooth, even-paced running is delightful.... well, except for the hills - going up hill hurts.
Which is why I come home, lean into the massive strength and beauty of my giant oak and s-t-r-e-t-c-h some more....

lipstick cramps cooler toes

Today, we found that the folks who travel the Loveland Trail on Sunday morning are friendly ones.... so many "hellos" and "good mornings" and non-obligatory nods. Today, we ran 3 miles, 4 times, traversing the same path four times.... deer crossed the same part of the path each time, making for 8 deer sitings in all.... two yellow chick-a-dees followed us a few miles.... we saw a lady biking with her kitty in a cart, and I got a very-necessary i-Pod tutorial... figuring out how to make a playlist with not a single female voice keep me on track....
Bladder and uterus intact - what more can a marathon-trainee ask for? Lipstick? Yes... I had that, too!

And so it begins...

Monday, July 5 - I'm out for a low-key morning run in Glendale, around the block, coming up Albion Lane: a thought - "Chicago - Manda wants to do a college visit to University of Chicago - hey, maybe we could run the marathon and schedule a college visit this fall!"

I run home and forget all about it, until....

Two days later, Amanda's in her room and I'm thinking "in a year we'll be prepping her for college and.... Oh yeah, what about the Chicago Marathon idea?" And I hurry to explain the concept. Manda's eyes shine, "Yeah, let's DO IT!"

Eager for info, we get online. Registration is closed. Boo.
Unless.... you run for a charity.

Manda's eyes light up again, "Yeah! We'll raise money for cancer - for leukemia! We can do it, Mom! What if we have that concert with your friends?"

And an hour later, we're registered with Fred's Team to raise $2000 each. (Yup, $4000. Yup, my husband is freaked.) What we didn't realize was that we hadn't officially registered for the Chicago Marathon. But since we believe we are, we live life around the online Nike Training Schedule - running, running, running.

The Mama in me starts worrying whether Manda is really ready for this. She's had health issues, after all --- we should probably check with her doctors first.  Doubt and worry, worry and doubt.

And then.... Email from Fred's Team: Thanks for registering with us, but you're not registered for the marathon. Still need to fill out more forms, pay more money.... hmmm.... maybe this is our chance to back out.... definitely want doctors' approval before we submit official reg forms, but that takes time - and the deadline is tomorrow. I call and request an extension. Agreed - two weeks.

We get appointments, stay on training track. Run our long 10 mile endurance run on Loveland trail - longest run of Manda's life; longest run for me in six years. Manda clocks us at 91.5 minutes. Accomplishment.

Two doctor appointments, two thumbs up - just be sure to add stretching and strengthening to that schedule. Just be sure we're running for the right reasons. Run, stretch, run, stretch, sweat sweat sweat.

As of yesterday, we are officially registered! (And psyched!)

Let the fund raising begin! Stay tuned for Making Music, Raising Money Fundraiser for Leukemia details soon....

Manda and Mama have started this blog to document our journey. Hopefully, there will be songs, videos, photos and updates from both of us on all things marathon-related between now and then....