"This is a test... it's only a test..."

So Manda and Mama are both in-healing vs. in-training. Sad, but true.

Mama still don't know just what is up with Crankly, which is frustrating - but what she do know is that it hurts and it ought not be out runnin' right now. The rest of her is grieving this loss.... just look at these beautiful autumn days beckoning a runner to run.... sigh. She vows, though, to end the facebook whine-fest and focus on what's next....

Yeah, Mama trusts a grander plan is unfolding and resistance is futile. This is a test - it is only a test....

Healing is the next right step for now - we will do our best to be gracious and pursue healing endeavors with the same hutzpah we pursued training routines. And we just might toss some surprising out-of-the-box creative alternatives in the mix, when we're ready....

Meanwhile, we will definitely continue fundraising for leukemia. And blogging.

Stay tuned..... <3

Cranky Ankley

Voice of America park

Well, the mysterious ankle ailment persists. I felt something in my left inner ankle bone on Monday night but really didn't give it much thought or attention - it just kind of itch-ached, if you know what I mean. Felt like something that would just go away.
No time to run on Tuesday morning, as it was COPS Swat Demo Day. I decide to just do my Tuesday 6 miler on Wednesday. So, I'm at this Demo thing, standing there watching guys shoot bullets at a clay dummy wearing a ballistic vest and I become aware that my ankle is swelling. And the longer we stand there, the more it puffs up. And yeah, it hurts, too.

I make an icepack, sit down, put my foot up. Others join me and we make random guesses as to the cause.... a sting, maybe? bug bite? did I twist or strain it somewhere along the line? I certainly don't recall an incident in which something "happened" to it.... weird.

My medically intuitive (and doctor-avoidant) hubby tells me he wants me to see the doctor and gets me an appointment. Not at all sure that's necessary, but I trust his sense of body-related stuff, so I go.

Dr. Webb wiggles and pokes and has me push this way and that against his hand. Range of motion seems good. Doesn't look like a bug bite. Prescribes naproxin, tells me to ice and support it and run as seems wise.

Doesn't seem wise to run Wednesday, so I stretch and do pilates. Take my naproxin, ice and elevate (and whine - waaaaah - frowny face on crankly ankley).

Thursday morning I put a brace on it and go to Voice of America park intending to run my 6 miler. Get through the 1st 1.3, wondering the whole time if I'm being stupid to run on it - could I be doing more damage? Or.... am I being a big wuss? It doesn't really hurt to run -- it just aches and swells when I stop. I decide to run round the little lake again - it's the most ideal day to run, beautiful in every way and I feel great except for poopy ankle. I stop after going round the second time to go pee. When I walk, the pain intensifies and I feel it swelling in my shoe. Harumph. 2.6 is all for me today. Drive home, ankle throbbing, hoping I'm not going to wind up Amanda's boot twin.

Got a quick appointment with the podiatrist for 10:30 am. Dr. Sisney is a friend of my sis-in-law and she's a triathlete, so has a clue about running injuries. She pokes, wiggles, queries and sends me for x-rays. Hmmm... x-ray does show lots of stress lines, but nothing else. 

This reminds me.... (funny thing, the memory) that once upon a time, I broke this ankle - back in the summer between my junior and senior year of high school. I hit a curb catching a frisbee, spent the better part of that summer on crutches, in a cast. Yes, Dr. Sisney says, that would explain the stress lines. Still, she really offers no clear explanation for the pain or swelling, just treats me - prescribes 5 day prednisone pack, gives me a compression sock-thingy, and tells me she doesn't see any reason not to run - although it might be wise to trade out this weekend's 18 mile endurance run for next weekend's 10 miles. (Her office is full of marathon, half-marathon and triathlon posters - got the distinct impression she's pretty hardwired to train and complete events. I like that - but I'd feel better if I knew what the heck is going on).

So I start the steroids, stretch and get fitted for shoes that suit my feet on Friday. The shoe-fitter dude notes that the wear on my previous shoes indicates that I've been running on the outside edge of my foot. Apparently, I need more neutral (less stabilized) shoes. He set me up in a pair of Adidas Gliders. They're kind of ugly, I think, but as he said, my feet don't know or care what they look like. I hope they have ankle healing magical powers.

I need to spend a few hours just wearing them around the house to break 'em in and get my feet used to being in them before doing the endurance run, so that's what I've been doing this morning. Wearing them while hunting for my i-pod shuffle, which is mysteriously M.I.A. I've cleaned out lots of drawers, purses, countertops and car compartments in my quest, but have not found it. (Aaaargh!) ...Wearing them while searching runner's ankle injuries online, trying to self-diagnose via web md since the live md route has been less than satisfactory.

Medical intuitive hubby comes up with idea of a bone spur (which I had actually thought of, too - since I've had one in my shoulder before - and come to think of it, the pain is much the same)..... From the little I've been able to find online, everything fits. Of course I still don't know for sure.... and if that is the case, I don't know what it means for marathon training.... and even though I'm pretty sick of obsessing about this when I know I am blessed and everything is as it should be and there are so many people with much more complex, confronting issues....
All morning, I've been afflicted with flip-flop indecision regarding running today.... should I? If I do, should I go for 18? or 10? or maybe the 6 I never finished this week? Or.... maybe I should rest it today and set my sights on tomorrow? And what in the heck happened to my shuffle?!?!!!

How many miles has Mama run?

My endurance run on "the-most-perfect-running-morning-ever" (Saturday) was 10 miles. I ran around beautiful Glendale, rockin' out and loving just about every sweaty minute of it.

Sunday is a day of rest and that's what I did (or at least I didn't go running).

For some reason, last night, I didn't want to go to bed even though I knew I had to wake up early to get boys to school and get my run in. And, you know, one of the perks of being a full-fledged grown up is you get to stay up as late as you want.... but, you also have to get up and be responsible Mama, no matter how bleary-eyed and grumpy you may be.

After I dropped Jon at MHS, I was sooooo tempted to just go home. But I drove my cranky butt to Sharon Woods, stretched beside the slimy green creek, put my headphones in and started to run. It hurt and I wanted to quit. Sometimes you just don't wanna.

Luckily, I've felt this way before (ha), and have become skilled at talking myself through it. "It's not far, Robin, just five. Think how good you'll feel when you get back to this very place in the parking lot and you did it. Focus on that." AND.... I thought about Liz and Joel and all the other cancer patients and families and all the times they have had to get up in the wee hours to travel to a clinic to be poked and prodded and ingested with stuff that makes them feel a catrillion times worse than this whiny-wuss, "I-stayed-up-too-late" yada yada pity party.... and I ran.

And when I finished, I felt fantastic. Bright-eyed and in-love with the crunchy Autumn morning - with the people and their dogs, with the toddlers on the playground and the rest of the day waiting...

I came home and, with a happy sigh, crossed another day of training off the schedule. I did the math and -can you believe? - when I finish tomorrow's 6-miler, Mama will have officially run 200 miles!;-) Go Me.

Fighting for the Cure video

Oh and, btw, I ran 16 miles ;-)

Stre-e-e-e-e-etching

 

 

 

Life is so full of so many worthwhile things, truly - so full, in fact, that even though I've been DOing a lot and writing in my mind a lot, I just haven't gotten to the screen to document the way I want to. I write this blog all day long in my head, but sitting down to capture the plethora of thoughts, images, ideas, inspirations... well, you know, I have 5 kids and a training schedule and I gotta stretch, and do laundry and dishes and feed the dog.
Anyway, my endurance run this past Saturday - 4x4 (aka 16 miles) went better than I anticipated. I got up early, made myself a yummy egg salad sandwich, gathered all my training paraphenalia and was on the trail just as the clock tower was chiming 8 am. It was cloudy, cool, and not crowded. Classic rock seemed to be the best motivator and I had Cliff ROKS, Gatorade and my saving grace, Jolly Ranchers - rewarded myself with one at the end of each 4 mile stretch and sucked on the fourth one that final mile - green apple (and Muse "Victorious") - totally  got me through.
Averaged just under 10 minute miles consistently. Am thinking maybe that's why I felt better than I have on previous endurance runs - I push it harder when I'm with Manda.... anyway, I'm fine with 10 minute mile average. Shit, I'm an old lady - that's pretty good! I didn't stop to walk. I didn't stress and fret. I just did my run, 4x4, beginning to end and when I was done, it felt good.
Manda was going to come see me finish, but she got lost and went to Wilmington instead (not my faulty directions this time! ha!) - so, when I finished (expecting to see her but not), I was tempted to say to some grandparents and their adorable kiddos in the parking lot who just happened to be getting out of the car next to mine "Hey - guess what? I DID IT! I just ran 16 miles! High 5!" ...but I didn't. I wonder what they would have done if I had?

LaLaPaLooza Land

 

So last Thursday, Amanda, her boot and I started spreading the word about LaLaPaLooza Benefit Concert for Leukemia, right here in our village of Glendale. LaLaPaLooza for Leukemia will take place September 18, 2010 on the Village Green just off Sharon Road near the railroad tracks in our sacred little town. We have five different musical acts that will take turns playing between 6:00 - 11:00 pm. I count myself blessed to know all of these wonderful musicians and call them friends. Musicians to perform include: 

Amy Lord Flury & The Sins 

Serenity Fisher

WALK THE MOON    

Amanda Matson

Restless Day

Amanda will be playing her original country songs in-between acts and will have help MC-ing the event from her friends, Joel Brown and Liz Lothrop. Joel and Liz are sophomores at Mason High School and have both spent the past two years fighting Leukemia. We have followed their journeys from first diagnosis until now and are in awe of their strength and courage, and the profound and inspiring stories they have experienced with their families along the way. We will include more pics, videos, links and words documenting their stories on the "Our Heroes" page of this blog.

Liz, Joel and Amanda at MHS Homecoming game 2009

The LaLaPaLooza for Leukemia is about raising awareness, funds and community that lead to hope and healing. Besides great music and awesome MC's, there will also be a Silent Auction, Split the Pot, A LiveinLove ART Booth, BEER, friends, laughs and fun! Manda and Mama hope to see you there! 

If you would like to donate items or services to the Silent Auction or are interested in volunteering in LaLaPaLooza Land, let me know! Watch for updates about LaLaPaLooza Benefit Concert for Leukemia on LaLaPaLooza Land page of this blog. ;-)

Dear Amanda - 117.5

Dear Amanda~
I am so sad and sorry that we will not be continuing this journey the way we planned. I miss you and your courage and tenacity in this training. And I hate that the experience we planned on has been taken from you - I wanted this for you - for us.
Still.... I am so proud of you - and us - for forging ahead. Do you know that to the point we were told you must wear that dang boot, we ran 117.5 miles? - for real! Think about that! How cool is that?

And even though I needed time and space to be certain, I think we both knew straighaway that the event was on, no matter how it must transpire. I love that we both gravitated to the same place in the same time.
I am continuing the training - and I am counting on you - on us - to keep me strong, to see me through, and to generate the momentum in our fundraising to make a real difference for Fred's Team - and for Leukemia.
I need you now more than ever and I respect and appreciate you beyond what I can put into words -for championing our event and our vision more than your participation. I wish I could turn it around and be the injured one cheering you on instead. I absolutely would, if I could. But that's not in my power. What I can do is keep running, keep training, keep believing, keep posting and keep creating.... You're not giving up... and neither will I.
I Love You so much,
Mama