"This is a test... it's only a test..."

So Manda and Mama are both in-healing vs. in-training. Sad, but true.

Mama still don't know just what is up with Crankly, which is frustrating - but what she do know is that it hurts and it ought not be out runnin' right now. The rest of her is grieving this loss.... just look at these beautiful autumn days beckoning a runner to run.... sigh. She vows, though, to end the facebook whine-fest and focus on what's next....

Yeah, Mama trusts a grander plan is unfolding and resistance is futile. This is a test - it is only a test....

Healing is the next right step for now - we will do our best to be gracious and pursue healing endeavors with the same hutzpah we pursued training routines. And we just might toss some surprising out-of-the-box creative alternatives in the mix, when we're ready....

Meanwhile, we will definitely continue fundraising for leukemia. And blogging.

Stay tuned..... <3

Cranky Ankley

Voice of America park

Well, the mysterious ankle ailment persists. I felt something in my left inner ankle bone on Monday night but really didn't give it much thought or attention - it just kind of itch-ached, if you know what I mean. Felt like something that would just go away.
No time to run on Tuesday morning, as it was COPS Swat Demo Day. I decide to just do my Tuesday 6 miler on Wednesday. So, I'm at this Demo thing, standing there watching guys shoot bullets at a clay dummy wearing a ballistic vest and I become aware that my ankle is swelling. And the longer we stand there, the more it puffs up. And yeah, it hurts, too.

I make an icepack, sit down, put my foot up. Others join me and we make random guesses as to the cause.... a sting, maybe? bug bite? did I twist or strain it somewhere along the line? I certainly don't recall an incident in which something "happened" to it.... weird.

My medically intuitive (and doctor-avoidant) hubby tells me he wants me to see the doctor and gets me an appointment. Not at all sure that's necessary, but I trust his sense of body-related stuff, so I go.

Dr. Webb wiggles and pokes and has me push this way and that against his hand. Range of motion seems good. Doesn't look like a bug bite. Prescribes naproxin, tells me to ice and support it and run as seems wise.

Doesn't seem wise to run Wednesday, so I stretch and do pilates. Take my naproxin, ice and elevate (and whine - waaaaah - frowny face on crankly ankley).

Thursday morning I put a brace on it and go to Voice of America park intending to run my 6 miler. Get through the 1st 1.3, wondering the whole time if I'm being stupid to run on it - could I be doing more damage? Or.... am I being a big wuss? It doesn't really hurt to run -- it just aches and swells when I stop. I decide to run round the little lake again - it's the most ideal day to run, beautiful in every way and I feel great except for poopy ankle. I stop after going round the second time to go pee. When I walk, the pain intensifies and I feel it swelling in my shoe. Harumph. 2.6 is all for me today. Drive home, ankle throbbing, hoping I'm not going to wind up Amanda's boot twin.

Got a quick appointment with the podiatrist for 10:30 am. Dr. Sisney is a friend of my sis-in-law and she's a triathlete, so has a clue about running injuries. She pokes, wiggles, queries and sends me for x-rays. Hmmm... x-ray does show lots of stress lines, but nothing else. 

This reminds me.... (funny thing, the memory) that once upon a time, I broke this ankle - back in the summer between my junior and senior year of high school. I hit a curb catching a frisbee, spent the better part of that summer on crutches, in a cast. Yes, Dr. Sisney says, that would explain the stress lines. Still, she really offers no clear explanation for the pain or swelling, just treats me - prescribes 5 day prednisone pack, gives me a compression sock-thingy, and tells me she doesn't see any reason not to run - although it might be wise to trade out this weekend's 18 mile endurance run for next weekend's 10 miles. (Her office is full of marathon, half-marathon and triathlon posters - got the distinct impression she's pretty hardwired to train and complete events. I like that - but I'd feel better if I knew what the heck is going on).

So I start the steroids, stretch and get fitted for shoes that suit my feet on Friday. The shoe-fitter dude notes that the wear on my previous shoes indicates that I've been running on the outside edge of my foot. Apparently, I need more neutral (less stabilized) shoes. He set me up in a pair of Adidas Gliders. They're kind of ugly, I think, but as he said, my feet don't know or care what they look like. I hope they have ankle healing magical powers.

I need to spend a few hours just wearing them around the house to break 'em in and get my feet used to being in them before doing the endurance run, so that's what I've been doing this morning. Wearing them while hunting for my i-pod shuffle, which is mysteriously M.I.A. I've cleaned out lots of drawers, purses, countertops and car compartments in my quest, but have not found it. (Aaaargh!) ...Wearing them while searching runner's ankle injuries online, trying to self-diagnose via web md since the live md route has been less than satisfactory.

Medical intuitive hubby comes up with idea of a bone spur (which I had actually thought of, too - since I've had one in my shoulder before - and come to think of it, the pain is much the same)..... From the little I've been able to find online, everything fits. Of course I still don't know for sure.... and if that is the case, I don't know what it means for marathon training.... and even though I'm pretty sick of obsessing about this when I know I am blessed and everything is as it should be and there are so many people with much more complex, confronting issues....
All morning, I've been afflicted with flip-flop indecision regarding running today.... should I? If I do, should I go for 18? or 10? or maybe the 6 I never finished this week? Or.... maybe I should rest it today and set my sights on tomorrow? And what in the heck happened to my shuffle?!?!!!

How many miles has Mama run?

My endurance run on "the-most-perfect-running-morning-ever" (Saturday) was 10 miles. I ran around beautiful Glendale, rockin' out and loving just about every sweaty minute of it.

Sunday is a day of rest and that's what I did (or at least I didn't go running).

For some reason, last night, I didn't want to go to bed even though I knew I had to wake up early to get boys to school and get my run in. And, you know, one of the perks of being a full-fledged grown up is you get to stay up as late as you want.... but, you also have to get up and be responsible Mama, no matter how bleary-eyed and grumpy you may be.

After I dropped Jon at MHS, I was sooooo tempted to just go home. But I drove my cranky butt to Sharon Woods, stretched beside the slimy green creek, put my headphones in and started to run. It hurt and I wanted to quit. Sometimes you just don't wanna.

Luckily, I've felt this way before (ha), and have become skilled at talking myself through it. "It's not far, Robin, just five. Think how good you'll feel when you get back to this very place in the parking lot and you did it. Focus on that." AND.... I thought about Liz and Joel and all the other cancer patients and families and all the times they have had to get up in the wee hours to travel to a clinic to be poked and prodded and ingested with stuff that makes them feel a catrillion times worse than this whiny-wuss, "I-stayed-up-too-late" yada yada pity party.... and I ran.

And when I finished, I felt fantastic. Bright-eyed and in-love with the crunchy Autumn morning - with the people and their dogs, with the toddlers on the playground and the rest of the day waiting...

I came home and, with a happy sigh, crossed another day of training off the schedule. I did the math and -can you believe? - when I finish tomorrow's 6-miler, Mama will have officially run 200 miles!;-) Go Me.

Oh and, btw, I ran 16 miles ;-)

Stre-e-e-e-e-etching

 

 

 

Life is so full of so many worthwhile things, truly - so full, in fact, that even though I've been DOing a lot and writing in my mind a lot, I just haven't gotten to the screen to document the way I want to. I write this blog all day long in my head, but sitting down to capture the plethora of thoughts, images, ideas, inspirations... well, you know, I have 5 kids and a training schedule and I gotta stretch, and do laundry and dishes and feed the dog.
Anyway, my endurance run this past Saturday - 4x4 (aka 16 miles) went better than I anticipated. I got up early, made myself a yummy egg salad sandwich, gathered all my training paraphenalia and was on the trail just as the clock tower was chiming 8 am. It was cloudy, cool, and not crowded. Classic rock seemed to be the best motivator and I had Cliff ROKS, Gatorade and my saving grace, Jolly Ranchers - rewarded myself with one at the end of each 4 mile stretch and sucked on the fourth one that final mile - green apple (and Muse "Victorious") - totally  got me through.
Averaged just under 10 minute miles consistently. Am thinking maybe that's why I felt better than I have on previous endurance runs - I push it harder when I'm with Manda.... anyway, I'm fine with 10 minute mile average. Shit, I'm an old lady - that's pretty good! I didn't stop to walk. I didn't stress and fret. I just did my run, 4x4, beginning to end and when I was done, it felt good.
Manda was going to come see me finish, but she got lost and went to Wilmington instead (not my faulty directions this time! ha!) - so, when I finished (expecting to see her but not), I was tempted to say to some grandparents and their adorable kiddos in the parking lot who just happened to be getting out of the car next to mine "Hey - guess what? I DID IT! I just ran 16 miles! High 5!" ...but I didn't. I wonder what they would have done if I had?

Dear Amanda - 117.5

Dear Amanda~
I am so sad and sorry that we will not be continuing this journey the way we planned. I miss you and your courage and tenacity in this training. And I hate that the experience we planned on has been taken from you - I wanted this for you - for us.
Still.... I am so proud of you - and us - for forging ahead. Do you know that to the point we were told you must wear that dang boot, we ran 117.5 miles? - for real! Think about that! How cool is that?

And even though I needed time and space to be certain, I think we both knew straighaway that the event was on, no matter how it must transpire. I love that we both gravitated to the same place in the same time.
I am continuing the training - and I am counting on you - on us - to keep me strong, to see me through, and to generate the momentum in our fundraising to make a real difference for Fred's Team - and for Leukemia.
I need you now more than ever and I respect and appreciate you beyond what I can put into words -for championing our event and our vision more than your participation. I wish I could turn it around and be the injured one cheering you on instead. I absolutely would, if I could. But that's not in my power. What I can do is keep running, keep training, keep believing, keep posting and keep creating.... You're not giving up... and neither will I.
I Love You so much,
Mama

That Darn Lisfranc Ligament

Today, Amanda and I went to the podiatrist (foot dr). Her right foot started hurting three and a half weeks ago at the end of our 12 mile endurance run. Since then, I have been constantly inquiring, "How's your foot?" with varied responses, but typically, "It hurt a little bit, but then it feels better; I think it's fine." Until this morning, when she texted me saying it hurt to walk on it.

So, at 2:30 this afternoon, we went to see Dr. Todd Adams at Podiatry Associates of Cincinnati. Her foot was swollen and he said so, then pressed it in various places, "Does this hurt?... How about this?" and then sent her for x-rays. My bet was on a stress fracture....

Within five minutes, he and pictures of her foot-skeleton appeared and we were told it is NOT a stress fracture.... No, she has a "Lisfranc Joint Sprain" - which means she damaged the tarsometatarsal joint ligament somehow - the ligament that connects the toes where they meet her foot.

"You're going to have to wear a boot," he said.... "for eight weeks."

WHAT?!

Amanda and I looked at each other with equal parts sadness and horror... as we watched him explain the ligament location on a fake foot skeleton... as we listened to the potential surgical pin fate that awaits her if she does not wear her boot, refrain from exercise (other than swimming and cycling) and allow the ligament to regenerate itself.

If her young body heals quickly, then she MAY be able to lose the boot after a month....or 5 weeks...0r 6 weeks.... But she needs to prep for worst case, which is two full months of boot-foot. My poor baby. She's devastated. 

So, Amanda will NOT be running the Chicago Marathon this time round.
We are committed to continue fundraising for leukemia no matter what.
The only question is Mama's participation...
Do I keep training and run it as planned?
Do we halt altogether and focus on next year?
Do we hope for the best and leave the option open that Amanda MAY be able to walk it?

Please add your voice to the poll -- what do you think Manda & Mama should do now?

Jolly Rancher Kisses - 14 miles

So, every weekend we have an endurance run. According to our training schedule, they alternate in length, so that two weeks ago, we did 12 miles, then the next weekend, 7 miles, and this past weekend we upped it to 14.
It was an ideal morning for running with bright clear skies, zero humidity, and even a gentle breeze. We followed online dietary instructions and fueled our bodies with a "breakfast of champions" - 2 eggs, 2 pieces of toast, orange juice, water, and a banana (actually, it also said to eat raisin bran with milk - but we couldn't deal with that much food!)

Then, we headed out to the Loveland Trail - nice, flat, spacious, shady trails that are well-marked to track progress (this is especially comforting for Miss Amanda as she likes ongoing input regarding distance and time). Thankfully, this time out neither of us were dealing with nasty cramps or other injuries - although Amanda did get another annoying cramp in the arch of her foot during our second round of 3.5 miles (so maybe 5 miles in).

I introduced Amanda to a Secret Trick of Endurance Running that I learned from a kind stranger round about mile 22 of the Flying Pig marathon (my 1st ever) in 2002. Just when I thought I couldn't keep going, she kept stride with me just long enough to gift me with 3 Jolly Ranchers. I tell you what - those sour hard candies saved me. Instead of focusing on the pain in my thighs or the blisters rubbing my feet, I became immersed in the taste explosion happening in my mouth - and it was good. ;-) So, on our way to the 14-miler, I stopped at Thornton's and added a large bag of Jolly Ranchers to our running supply arsenal. (Note: Green Apple is my fave; Amanda's is Watermelon - this is also good ;-)).

Amanda kept track of actual running time (so not including time we stop to stretch, consume water, take pics, unwrap Ranchers, etc) and reports that she finished the 14 miles in 2 hours and 6 minutes (so I guess ancient, slow madre-woman finished in approx. 2 hours and 7 minutes). Yes, I seem to have a chronic final-mile issue, regardless of the distance - if it's 12 miles, I'm hurting and giving myself permission to walk a bit between 11-12; if it's 6, I struggle mentally between 5-6; so, on this run, I stopped to walk at 13.25 (and wow, the walking felt good - but watching Amanda run on ahead didn't!).... so, I put a question out there to my i-pod shuffle - not sure what song was playing as I walked, but I told myself that I'd let the next song dictate whether or not I would pull it out and run to our finish at mile marker 42 (or not). And what song comes on? "Life in the Fast Lane" by the Eagles - Ha ha ha! No arguing with that one... I picked up my pace and happily ran to the end, really - to be fair - only about 1/2 a minute behind the super-trooper Amanda ;-)

Monday morning blossoms

Nature is full of miracles. At night, when it is dark, the lotus flower sinks underwater into the mud. With light, it rises up through the murk and mire, into the sunshine, where it rapidly bursts into bloom, then sheds its petals.... such a metaphor for growth and surrender - the dank, muddy nights paving the way toward big, bold beauty, unfurling within the warm, adoring spotlight of sunshine.

This Monday morning found me running along the trails of Glenwood Gardens, nestled between Glendale and Woodlawn, following the signs to the "Lotus Pond" in full bloom. Although it was slightly cumbersome, I ran the 1st 2 miles with my camera on my wrist, so I might capture the morning wonder.

I like to mix it up - I'm in training for the marathon, yes.... but in the grander scheme, I'm in training for eternity - and nature offers profound lessons, when we seek - and honor - them.